My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
