There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
