you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize