Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
