we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
