If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
