I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
