In the future we'll all be gay
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
