last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
