when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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