im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
