you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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