quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
