There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize