Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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