The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
