***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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