it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i think i just lost a toe
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
