I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
