i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize