I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
