my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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