haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
