He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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