I bet he comes in French.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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