Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
