u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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