You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
