why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize