he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
did i just pee glitter
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
