Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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