apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
