If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
