Swine flu. Run for my life!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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