i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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