cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
