i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize