I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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