By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize