you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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