Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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