Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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