I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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