Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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