Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Floor bacon is actually really good
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
