What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize