I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she told me i tasted like america
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
