I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
