nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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