I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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