Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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