You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
