is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
