Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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