sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
