Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
