I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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