1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
