trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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