Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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