I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
