Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
