I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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