she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
